a spoonful of sugar
by incense-whiskers
Summary: the end is seen at the beginning/of growing up and the choices we make/thorxloki; eir


_disclaimer: I claim no ownership over Thor. _

_author's note: in which Thor has not discovered humility and Loki is still seeking his place in the world; Eir is the healer-valkyrie noted in the legends, I'm not quite sure of her placement in the comic or the movie. however, I thought her perspective would be interesting._

_summary: the end is seen at the beginning/of growing up and the choices we make/thorxloki; eir_

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><p>She is the first to lay eyes on them, the two princes of Asgard.<p>

Thor is born with a struggle after a peaceable labor and wails loudly for his mother.

_(he is a true tempest; a wide eye smile and an ability to out-screech a harpy when he begins to cut his first tooth)_

Loki is a still, wide-eyed infant and his eyes focus on her quicker than any other child she's welcomed into creation.

_(he is a curious child and into everything, stubborn to comfort but willing to play with the other children)_

Eir sees the end at the beginning and says nothing. It is not her place to assume the mantle of the Allfather and dictate the lives of others, she is to mend hurts and perform miracles on those whom others have forsaken.

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><p>When they are still young and training with mock-swords, she is summoned to the training ring where Sif hovers anxiously and Thor is pale-faced with fear. Loki sits stunned, a thin laceration to his forehead. His eyes flutter and are unable to focus.<p>

"Loki," she says. "It is Eir. Can you see me?"

"Yes," he replies. "I was too slow."

No, Eir thinks, you were not. She knows too well the aggressiveness of the so-called 'first son' and his companions and does not need an explanation as to what happened. The healer nods sharply to the others and leads the injured student away. Nothing will come of this beyond a lesson taught and there is little need to cause a scene.

It does not take long to repair such a minor injury. She pushes a mug of tea towards the injured boy and eyes her handiwork. Loki's bright eyes scowl at the bandage around his head.

"It is not always better to use god-craft," Eir says. "Some things are best left alone." The boy stares at her sullenly and peers into his drink.

"Have you deserted your studies?" the healer-valkyrie. "I thought you had no inclination for melee combat."

"Father thinks it unfitting."

Eir smiles at him kindly.

"Drink your tea," she instructs and rises from her seat. "It has honey in it. I need to fetch a book, it will help you."

The boy is puzzled.

"If you father insists on this foolhardy path, then you will be prepared to handle the more simple of battle-wounds."

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><p>There are few in Asgard who remember the fury of Eir. Even the Allfather has forgotten.<p>

One night she strides into the great halls of Odin in a towering rage so great that the ravens flee. Unlike the Allfather she does not roar and gnash her teeth, Loki discovers, hers is a cold burn that lingers long after she has left. The younger son had tried to advise against it but the others had not heeded and Loki could not follow their footsteps this time.

Her garden mangled, her elixirs missing and her healing tomes ruined – Eir granted no mercy on the guilty and closed her Hall to Asgard.

Loki offers to help restore her books, to try and mend this damage.

_(he depends on Eir to say nothing when he stumbles in with pain greater than he can bear)_

Thor does not apologize and is uncomfortable in Eir's hands.

_(he sees the healing hall as a right and not a privilege)_

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><p>Loki is much, much older when he sees her outside of her Hall. Her robes is made from the morning mist and her cheeks wear the flush born of her spiced wine.<p>

She is not Eir the Healer, she is just Eir.

And he wishes she would always wear that smile.

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><p><em>She never agreed with the spell Odin placed upon him, the place Odin assigned him. The warm skin of her people looked wrong on the pale child, the skill with god-craft he was denied for too long, the eventual loss of favor as Odin groomed his heir.<em>

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><p>After Thor is banished, Loki meets Eir as she leaves the Allfather's private chambers. He is resting in his <em>odinsleep<em> and safe under his mother's careful watch. He is frightened and desperate, Eir's loose touch on his arm is akin to a burn. The healer says nothing but her eyes there is the compassion she will not let herself speak.

* * *

><p>She does not celebrate the ascension of the first son. She mourns the loss of the second. Heimdall says nothing as she mends his flesh and gives his spirit fire again.<p>

"I will watch." he says.

Eir says nothing, she knows Loki will not return.

Frigga does not visit, but Odin leaves his golden walls for her small sanctuary.

"You should not have done what you did," Eir tells him savagely. "You ruined him, destroyed any opportunity he had to be worthy of his father's name." Eir is a mender of hurts, a soother of souls and this ongoing wound that she has not been able to heal hurts more than any other burden she has had to bear.

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><p>When Ragnarok comes, Loki comes to her in the blush of twilight.<p>

"I cannot stop it," he says. His bright eyes have lost their glimmer. "The end is here." She cannot tell if he is panicking because he did not mean it, or out of some long-lost respect he may have had for her as a child. His hands are cold now, his heritage growing stronger as the ends of her people begins to wane.

"All is well Loki." she says with a smile.

"I do not want you to suffer." his eyes are wild. Eir shakes her head.

"All is well Loki," she repeats. "I must bring forth the birthing, tend to the wounded and comfort the dying. I must as you must." She prods him away, to continue on his work. Eir will not hide from death, nor the end of her people.

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><p>In the end, the field is littered with corpses and Eir is spent.<p>

The brothers are still fighting and their faces are too far for her to read, she is unable to reach out and comfort them.

The cosmos still shine as she topples over into Hel's care and she can only think of the beginning and the end that she saw there.

_(she wishes she had not run out of miracles)_


End file.
